Have you tried to help someone, but felt you were the one doing the work?
I’ve been there. I am capable of trying to cure someone of anything that I think I can help with.
Often I need to step back and examine my motives. Am I helping or wanting to heal something within myself?
I need to pray.
I need to know if the person even wants my help.
If those questions are answered , the person being helped must put in the work.
Jesus required faith. Jesus asks questions. Jesus had pure motives. Jesus didn’t enable.
Jesus healed a man who had been sick for 38 years. Jesus asked the man if he wanted to be well. He asked and didn’t rush in to save. The man would no longer be a beggar and would be able to work. His life would change, Jesus asked, if he even wanted to be well. Jesus then commanded the man to pick up his mat and walk. (John 5:1-8)
The sense of entitlement is prevalent . Entitlement hurts people, it enables someone to stay stuck.
Jesus never gave someone the sense of entitlement. He required faith. He sometimes required faith with action.
Living as a Christian is a balancing act between loving someone and helping or enabling someone and hurting.
Prayer for today:
Please Lord let me help those that want the help. Let me get out of your way, guide me in the ways you want me to help others. Please give me the patience to allow others to do the work. I don’t want to enable. I want to love. In Jesus name, Amen.
I’ve been on the other end too — someone trying to “help” without asking if I actually need it or want it or finding out what kind of help will actually be most helpful instead of hurtful and demeaning. In those cases, the “help” generally comes with strings attached that have nothing to do with actually helping or looking out for my best interests. It’s usually someone with less than pure motives who assumes that I am entitled brat without recognizing that I am already aware of and working on the issue “like a crazy girl” as a friend of mine likes to say and tries to write themselves in as the hero(ine) of my story who rides to the rescue of a poor unfortunate dimwit who cannot think or figure out for herself what needs to be done. They assume that whatever I am doing is wrong and I need their “higher wisdom” to set me straight without bothering to find out or acknowledge that even though the situation I am in is largely the result of the actions of another person beyond my control, I have and am already doing everything in my power to fix it because I know I am the only one who will. The other person has completely abdicated any responsibility for the trouble or the solution so if it is going to get fixed, it’s going to be GOD and me. No one else has a stake or vested interest in it. But some people just can’t see someone in a difficult circumstance and still recognize that that person does not fit the entitlement stereotype so I get lumped in and treated like dirt when I stand up for myself and my kids. So just because someone does not want a particular person’s help, does not mean they are necessarily entitled and content to wallow in their trouble. It just might mean that the would be helper needs to get a clearer picture of the truth of the person’s character and what stage they are at in their recovery plan and accept that the kind of help they want to give may not be the kind of help the person actually needs and be willing to change their perspective and flex to offer the help needed in the form and at the time needed instead of forcing their own assessment of what is needed on the person whether it fits or not — and detach all strings and forced obligation and accept a simple and sincere thank you rather than expecting eternal subjugated indebtedness and groveling in return. End of soap box. You can tell that our recent experiences have given me strong feelings on this!
Thank you for the words of wisdom. I meant that someone who feels entitled will not work. Jesus always required something at the very least Faith. I agree and have been guilty of rushing into save and then judge when it isn’t going well. The person may not have even asked for my help or I might not have been capable of helping. Loving others is tricky. I am sorry you have been judged and treated like dirt, that is wrong. Your story does not sound like entitlement to me. It sounds like you are working. Thank you for your insight.
Amen young lady! I know exactly what you mean! Dealing with a similar situation for awhile. I am sorry you had this experience, but God has used it to make you wise, & to be a blessing to me today!
Thank you, for the kind words. I hope your situation gets better.
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My family and I are doing well, thanks for asking. Thank you for reading the blog.