I gave my testimony last night to a small group. I had told my friend what I was doing. Her advice was to talk about my year of  dating. I dated after my spouse died and was a mess. Still am, far from perfect. Thank goodness people crucified the only perfect person who walked on earth.

I did seek God during this time. I would pray and still pray for each person I dated. I would pray before each date for wisdom and discernment. I truly felt led by God on each person until I didn’t get my way. The process in my mind was taking too long. I went out on my own and got burned.

I then went back to God and humbled myself. The ironic thing was I was being impatient,  then  God rushed the process were I wasn’t comfortable with the speed. God’s timing is never my own.

Every experience that I had led me to my husband now. The men God had placed in my life spoke truth over me, things I needed to hear. The one man I dated and was burned by was a minister. The world would have looked to some of the men that I dated and the actions with judgement. I didn’t feel convicted because God was with me. The one that the world would have thought highly of was wrong for me and I was going against God.

Ministers are great and speak truth, but if one isn’t speaking truth use caution. I don’t want to turn people away from the church or a minister. I just want to say the church is made up of imperfect people. It is  everyone’s responsibility to have a personal relationship with Christ. I am truly sorry if the church has hurt you. Please do not walk away because of an experience, there are some very good loving people in the church.

I had loving people who prayed over me, the relationships, and the men I was dating. They listened to endless rants and cries. I was frustrated.

When I laid my life down finally and gave it over to God. He could use me. I was done being  in the way obstructing his plan.

I have not blogged much this year. God had a different mission for me. I will blog when God lays on my heart to do so.

I hope this gives you hope. God has a plan for you. God has a spouse for you if it is in his plan for you to have one. I wish if I could go back I would have been able to see the plan unfolding before me. I now have more trust in God’s ways not mine. He is an awesome, good,  great father who I can rest in.

Prayer for today:

Thank you God for never wasting. I am so thankful for a God that uses everything for our good for those that love you. I don’t deserve your grace or mercy. You are truly amazing. I am humbled to be yours. In Jesus name, Amen