Category: Uncategorized (Page 6 of 9)

Before I became a Christian, I prayed. I was often confused and angry with the lack of answers. What I didn’t know was there are prayers God doesn’t listen to. God wants us to be humble before him. I also didn’t realize that I had to lay down my pride, my way, my life, to follow his grace, his way, and an eternal plan instead of my lowly earthly plan. I have listened to God’s calling for an  answer to prayer. Sometimes the answer comes with confusion mixing faith with illogical obedience springing me into action. I have been amazed at God’s work. I have also in my selfish ways gone my own way and I have been amazed at the level of my pride and stupidity. I will be a student of listening to the calling of God or  blindly walking in my own stupidity until I am safe at home in eternity. I love the book of James, he is blunt and sometimes his words cut deeply. He talks about prayer and humbling oneself before the Lord in James chapter four.

Sometimes I don’t respect God’s direction over mine. I need to know who my heavenly Father is humbling myself for his ways to be revealed. I need to be respectful of the one who made me.

Once I have an answer to prayer I need to follow through with action.

James calls us to be more than friends with the world, to desire what God desires, to not grieve the Holy Spirit, and to pray with the right motives.

How many characters in the bible humbled themselves in prayer and then acted? I think sometimes we don’t relate to the bible because if we do we must humble ourselves to God’s will and not our own. I think of the wonderful examples of God’s people moving forward to an answered prayer even when it didn’t make sense. I think of Abraham and how much he followed with belief, but was so imperfect in the process. God still brought him through and used him for his plan. We are all imperfect humans doing the best that we can, thank goodness for Grace and Mercy.

Please Lord, let us humble ourselves before you, knowing you and your ways are the answer even when it doesn’t make sense. Please let me follow your will and not my own. Please let me let go of being perfect and allow you to work in me and through me. Please hear my prayer, in Jesus name, Amen.

I have been praying for many families through the holiday season. I’m sure you have too. I am reminded of people who are not here to celebrate the season with their loved ones, and sometimes the holidays just seem to be too much.

I have thought about the scripture in Luke 14:26. Jesus pretty much lays it out to not love your family or your life above him. Before I became a Christian, I thought he was a jerk to say the least, who hates their family? Now I understand Jesus is the only constant.

He is my comforter.

He is my teacher.

He is my advocate.

He is my love.

He is my everything.

Family isn’t constant. We try to love but often we fail. We are human. When life becomes hard to often we run to humans before God for comfort. We refuse to move forward and look to the past holding on to the hurt. Luke 9:62 talks about moving forward in life. Jesus was blunt, love him, don’t idolize your family, and move forward don’t live in the past.

Ouch, hard words.

Loving words actually.

When we know God not know of God, the level of intimacy surpasses anything on earth. When we busy ourselves loving others. The past with all of the past hurts doesn’t sting as much, life is moving forward. When we understand God is our ultimate healer and not our family, life is less stressful on everyone. I have been in the position of trying to make someone happy. The pressure of making someone have  peace and happiness was unrealistic .

Joy, peace, contentment,  and love come from God.

Prayer for today: Please God allow healing in our hearts. Let us love others. Please take the sting out of our past, missing others, and wanting our life to be different. Please let us rest in your love moving forward with intimacy with you.

In Jesus name Amen.

I am writing this now because I have procrastinated. I hate the feeling of being down to the wire.

I struggle with God’s timing as well.

I have been praying for my trust to build. I need to be content where I am now not where I want to be while working toward the goal God has laid before me.  I don’t understand why this is so difficult. I should be grateful for a clear goal. I should be content making progress. Frankly most days I want the end goal to be accomplished and then another goal to work on. My focus goes away from God who gave me the goal. I turn my focus to my timing and my work.

My God given gifts and talents become my idols.

I no longer trust in God to work through me and use me keeping my eye on him.

I rely on myself trying to obtain my goal in my timing through my strength.

2 Corinthians 3: 4-6

“We have this kind of confidence toward God through Christ. It is not that we are competent in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our competence is from God. He has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not for the letter, but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit produces life.”

I am so self-defeating sometimes. Life really doesn’t need to be rushed, controlled, as stressful, as I make it.

God is working through me in his timing for his purpose. I need to be content and trust the process one simple goal at a time.

Prayer for today:

Please God let me get out of your way, work through me. Please let my focus be on you resting in your timing. I am competent through you not in my strength but in yours. In Jesus name, Amen

The story of the prodigal son found in Luke chapter 15, is a story of redemption. As a child I related to the bad one, the demanding, spoiled, self-centered, narcissistic, bad one.  He demanded his share of his Father’s inheritance before the man had even died. He then went and partied in a far off land. He blew through his money. He finally was reduced to take a job feeding pigs ( by the way he was Jewish). He was literally starving himself to death. I find it interesting that none of his party friends were there to help. He decided to go back to his Father and ask to be a servant. The Father saw him way off in the distance and ran to meet him. I can relate to the times that I took stock in the world, earthly relationships, jobs, titles, and not realized that every true gift is from God. The son had a speech prepared and apologized for his behavior.  How many times have I gone to God on my knees not worthy? How many times has God embraced me extending grace and mercy? The Father took his son back and not as a servant back  into the family and to top it off threw a party. I loved this story because :

I have pride.

I have selfishness.

I have the attitude of I can do this myself, I don’t need God or anyone.

I am a mess.

The Father is supposed to represent our Father in heaven with compassion on us. As a kid I thought how sweet to be able to screw up that much and still be welcomed back. I felt like I had a free ride to do what I wanted to do. I never gave much thought about hitting rock bottom or the repentance part, or the fact that the “rules” in the bible are their for our protection those ideas never crossed my mind. What a merciful God to give us Grace.

Now comes the second son the good one. The boring one, he stayed and worked. He was obedient, never once did he ask for his inheritance early, saying peace out I ‘m gone to squander the family  fortune away. He stayed and worked hard. He was angry when his brother returned and had a party thrown in his honor. He confronted his Father with the facts he had worked, was respectful, and didn’t do the things his brother did. Where was his party? The Father comforted his son explaining that the son had everything the Father had and the son was always with him, he went on to say  that his brother was lost but is found, was dead but is alive again. The father pleaded with his son to come to the party and celebrate. How many times have I been like this brother trying to earn God’s love?  Angry when I didn’t get what I think God owed me? Too many to count. I compare myself to others thinking I am not as bad as that, but truth be told we are all like the two brothers.

Do I think my way is better than God’s?

Do I work trying to earn God’s love?

Do I compare myself to others?

Am I angry when I don’t get what I think God owes me?

Do I refuse to go into the party because of shame or pride?

All of these are checked for me.

Prayer for today:

Please Lord give me balance let me repent of my sins not living in shame, let my actions and thoughts not become prideful. Please oh please give me a heart of trust, trying not to earn my place in Heaven through my works. Please let me be grateful for the gift of grace  and salvation because we all should be at the party.

Since this the month of November, I am posting what I am thankful for. The biggest blessing in my life has to be accepting Christ as my savior.  The story is long and painful on how I came to know Christ. I want to share in case it helps someone gain perspective. My childhood was not ideal to say the least. My mother was ill when I was young before I was five she was diagnosed with MS. She was in and out of hospitals and I was bounced around from one home to another. By the time I was a teenager she was addicted to painkillers and had tried to end her life at least once. She was diagnosed with cancer and died when I was nineteen. My father was a minister but didn’t practice what he preached. The hypocrisy and the secrecy of my family life, which I equated to God, were too much. Too much negativity, judgment, covering up, just too much. I was confused most Sunday’s I could spot the fakers just like me but the real Christians I couldn’t relate to. I couldn’t figure out how they could fake happiness and peace so well.

I was sexually abused as a child. The secret of my mom’s drug habit and my dad’s hypocrisy was expected even demanded to be covered and not talked about, but my sexual abuse was for all to know. My mother talked about it often to others, all the while telling me how dirty I was for being sexually abused. I hated God and Christians, all where lumped into a group, which I wanted nothing to do with.  I grew up and ran from the church. I even wanted to protect my children from the evils of Christians.

It wasn’t until my mid thirties did I realize my drug of choice was food. I loved chaos. I was living with a spouse who talked to me like my parents did. I needed help. I ended up through a series of events going into a church.

  I finally met Jesus. Not the Jesus I learned about as a child, the Jesus I met was strong, patient, kind, merciful, seeker of justice, most important loving. I met love for the first time. The loving part was tough, I had held onto so dearly lies claimed as truth for myself.  Jesus was kind enough had enough mercy on me to have me release all of the lies.

I’m not good enough. – Truth is no one is good enough that is why there is grace.

I’m dirty. – We all are, his blood makes us white as snow.

I have bad genetics. – We can denounce generational sins.

I am not lovable. – Even if it were just me, he would have gone to the cross.

I laid my shame down. I breathed for the very first time. All of the weight of the lies, pride, independence, and the judgment came off.

I beg you if you are a Christian love the unlovable. Show mercy and grace.

I always watched Christians in my profession, which is the restaurant business. Christians usually tipped the worst and as a manager were the worst to deal with so demanding and rude dressed up in their church clothes.  I think of how many opportunities I had with Christians before I met Jesus. I wonder if Jesus would recognize some of the Christians as Christ followers. I am not perfect and I make plenty of mistakes. I am trying to make the point that every interaction leaves a person seeing Christ or not. I have been hurt by the church and Christians. I have hurt the Church and Christians for that I am sorry. I don’t follow people, I follow Christ, but before I followed Christ all I knew were his followers. I try to remember my life before Christ, I was so unlovable. I was hurt and hurt others.    I am thankful for the people who were lights for me in the darkness even when I was unlovable. My challenge for you and myself is how are you influencing others today? Show Love, Mercy, and Grace, someone’s life might change, they could meet Christ’s love which sets us free.