I was convicted this week. I was pursuing a relationship instead of being pursued. I am a take charge, planner, let’s get this done type of gal. I needed to stop, pause, and just think.

I have been dating, each date has led to prayer. God, is this the mate you want me to be with? If not make it clear and if so make that clear. I  would and do pray for the other person, their families, and some of the problems that they were facing. I have met some amazing men along this journey.

The thought came to me this week. I want so badly to be in a Godly union, has that become my idol? If God did give me a husband would he be before God? I didn’t like the feeling. I never want my kids, my life, or a future spouse to take precedence over God.

God is first.

I am a servant.

I know this weekend might be tough for some. I have been single and I have been married over the holidays. Last year I was married watching my husband slowly die, Valentines was tough to say the least. I know he is in the arms of God and is so much  better this holiday than last year. I can’t imagine the magnitude of being in Heaven.

I know my true Valentine is my God who has his always comforting arms around me. I am his and he is mine. I can’t think of a better gift than that. So if you are single you are never alone. If you are with someone and your partner gives you a great gift or the gift brings disappointment, know that your true Valentine will never let you down. You are God’s.

If you haven’t accepted Christ as your savior, it is easy to do. Ask, for Jesus to come into your heart, believe he died for your sins, and admit you need a savior. It is that simple.

I serve a God who  knows the number of my hairs on my head, who knit me in mother’s womb, who planned me before creation, who made me in his image, who loves me…

God loves you.

If you are frustrated with a worldly relationship, stop to pause, remember who you belong to.  Happy Valentines day.

Read:

Psalm 139 and Matthew 10

Might not be the most appropriate title. I have procrastinated until 10pm to write and post my blog due today,  I guess I still have two hours that I could have procrastinated on. Truth be told, I had know idea what to say.

My friend and I were talking about an atheist that I know, rather nice person who I enjoy very much. We were discussing how others who don’t believe view Christians and how we fall short. Which makes sense but if we are examples of Christ we should reflect some of his attributes.

Then the thought came how many Christians go to church and are spoon fed. I know ministers are suppose to emulate Christ but they are human as well. I often question things and don’t take much at face value. I can be a real pain to deal with, but I learn. I have been in churches well to be blunt the minister was way off base. I understand interpreting the scripture differently and I am wrong too, but when someone is quoting scripture that isn’t even in the bible that’s wrong. Most of the people followed because they viewed the minister as the end all  and be all of knowledge. We all have bibles and we all are called to run our own race.

Why take a sermon at face value? We can all go home and learn.

Why do we just assume because our parents or family are a Christian that we know God too? Shouldn’t we know and have a relationship with Christ on our own terms?

I guess  what I am trying to say, is yes we have a responsibility to show Christ’s love to others for they can know Christ but if we sit around and try to be spoon fed, or live through someone else’s race, our relationship with Christ is shallow. Go deep, read the scriptures there are so many on running a race for God. Here is the catch you will never be a master on the Bible it is a living breathing word of God, BUT if you stay with it and run with substance the race will change you, and then it is much easier to witness through actions to nonbelievers, to know when something is a crock of nonsense, and when something is truth.

Just random thoughts for the day. Keep on running.

Those words use to haunt me, sin no more. I had heard them quoted from John chapter 8.  The story is about a woman who commits adultery, and Jesus saves her from being stoned for her sin. I thought when Jesus said to the  woman go and sin no more he meant live perfectly. Or at least don’t be as bad as the woman caught in adultery, don’t sin as bad as that.

Sin no more. How I sin each day? Maybe I don’t cheat on a spouse or cause another spouse to falter but sin is sin, right?

So how am I not suppose to sin?

Read the whole chapter, Jesus talks about walking in light not darkness.

I now think stop it.

Stop woman, I am enough.

I made you, I knew you before the earth was formed. I knitted you in your mother’s womb. Stop giving yourself away. I love you. You are more than fragments that any affair could ever give you, stop, sin no more.

Stop woman, I will take care of you.

I clothe the wild flowers in the field and feed the birds in the air. You are more valuable than those. Stop running to earthly men to fulfill your needs. I will take care of you.

Stop woman, you have purpose.

Stop running after approval from man, I made you for a reason. Look to me to fulfill you with approval. Run your race for me.

Stop and sin no more.  Live in the Light and not the Darkness

Jesus never commanded us to be perfect. He did want us to abide in him. When we live in the light, the darkness seems to fade more and more. We know who we are. We are valuable beautiful children of God. We have the blood of Christ setting us free which breaks all of the trying to not sin mentality and sets us free into the light to go and sin no  more. If I am living for Christ, then Christ will change my heart. I belong to him.

Live  in the light, go and sin no more.

Hebrews Chapter 11 paints a glorious picture of Faith.

Hebrews 11:1

” Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

The whole chapter paints a picture of Godly examples of people stepping out in faith.

Verse three includes us, because if we believe that God created the universe out of nothing, he made the visible out of the unseen. We have faith in our God.

Isn’t it true if we serve God that created everything?  We should have faith  in what he can do in our life.

Verse six states that it is impossible to please God without Faith. God rewards those who believe and earnestly seek him.

Verse 13 states that the bible characters did not receive  their promises while living here on earth but that they welcomed their promises from a distance. Godly people know that earth is not their home and live with eternity in mind. Even when God didn’t make sense these men and women in Hebrews 11 followed through obeying. They left a legacy behind while chasing an eternal destiny.

I would encourage you to read the whole chapter, challenging yourself to ask what God has placed on your heart to chase your eternal destiny while building an earthly legacy.

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John 12:24-26

” I tell the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.”

Before I became a Christian the thought of dying to myself and living for an invisible God was ridiculous. How would I ever survive or be happy serving others? Truth be told I wasn’t happy with my life, nothing ever seemed to be enough. I was a fraud. I acted most days to cover the insecurity that I felt.

BUT God, is amazing. When I finally realized that if I gave my life over to the one who created me, created my world, the vast universe, and followed, I was no longer a fraud pretending to be whole. I was whole because I now have purpose. I serve. I love. I die to my selfish ways. I am created in the image of a wonderful savior. I am filled to the brim of who I am in Christ by loving and serving others. I find it ironic that the most miserable time in my life was before Christ.  I thought if I followed Christ, I would loose happiness and security.

While my life is no longer my own. I wouldn’t want it any other way. If you are holding onto a selfish pattern. If you are miserable trying to find the next best thing to satisfy. I promise there is something more to life. Life on earth is meant to be lived with eternity in mind. Lay down your life for his. It is a journey worth taking.

Does God guide our steps in action?

Yes if we are humble. It is hard to follow without laying down our life, our way for God’s guidance and life.

If we want God’s way, we are submissive to his calling.

Psalm 25:8-9

“The Lord is good and upright; therefore He shows sinners the way. He leads the humble in what is right and teaches them His way.”

Throughout scripture God calls us to be humble, to die to ourselves, and he will direct our steps.

Paul preaches in Galatians chapter 4 about being under the law, living in the spirit instead of the flesh, and what living in the flesh looks like.  When God guides us through his spirit we are no longer under the law.

When we are aligned with God, we want his way even when the first step is crazy. How many Christians do you know that have changed courses in life? God can lead us on amazing adventures, he can lead to peace where chaos ensued, he can change a person from anger to love, he works in the heart of the ones that he loves and for the ones that love him. The same God of miracles in the bible is the same God today. I am less of a hot mess each year than the year before, I am not complete nor will I be until I am in my heavenly home, but I love God’s guidance on my life.

My prayer today is from Ephesians 1:17-19

“I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, would give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the perception  of your mind may be enlightened so you may know what is hope of his calling, what the glorious riches of His inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of His power to us who believe, according to the working of His vast strength.”

Zechariah 2:13

” Let all people be silent before the Lord, for He is coming from His Holy dwelling.”

I know for me with life, time constraints, stress, and the inner struggle of peace it is hard to get still. I have to start in the morning with prayer before my feet hit the floor.  My prayer is for God’s guidance for my day.

Psalm 143:8

” Let me experience Your faithful love in the morning, for I trust in You. Reveal to me the way I should go because I long for you.”

I love waking up with God before life starts. I need his presence to fill me and guide me through out the day.  In the stillness sometimes a scripture will come and I am blessed to meditate throughout the day on his wonderful word. Sometimes God lays a person on my heart who I pray for throughout the day, and others times I am directed to action. Most days it is a time of prayer and connection. I love my quiet time with my savior.

Prayer for today: Please Lord let me give you my day and have you direct my steps, thank you for your wonderful guidance and grace. In Jesus name, Amen

Psalm 83:1

“O God, do not keep silent; be not quiet, O God, be not still.”

Have you ever wanted a word from God!  Just to hear his voice.

I love when God came to Samuel in chapter 16 verse 7. He told Samuel to not look at David’s appearance. God stated that he didn’t look at a person’s outward appearance but at their heart. Samuel would know his word came from God because it lined up with God’s character. He also had God speak over David when he was chosen. Then the spirit of the Lord came over David.

God spoke and confirmed, but Samuel knew God.

Romans 10:17

” Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. “

We must know the word of Christ, which is the bible. It is hard to discern what God is speaking if you don’t know his word.

Our hearts must be willing to listen, Zechariah 7:11-13 talks about people who would not listen to God because their hearts were hard.

Once we know what God is telling us, we know that is in alignment with scripture, and the character of God, then what?

We obey and do! Samuel 15:23 and James 1:22 talks about hearing and doing.

I love when God answers.

Sometimes I am confused about the obeying. I often don’t know the next step in the process but the first step lines up with the character of God and the word of God.

Isn’t that were faith and trust come in for illogical obedience.

Hearing and doing my friends always and adventure with God.

I am thankful for my position in Christ.

Please Read Romans Chapter 8

We are set free from the law of death limited by our flesh.

We have the mind of Christ with the Holy Spirit in us.

We are not condemned.

We can please God.

We are dead to sin.

We are adopted into the body of Christ.

God is our Abba, Father.

We are heirs of God.

Nothing compares even  the sufferings of this world to the glory of Heaven.

We eagerly await  for our Heavenly home.

We have hope in things not seen.

We are given patience in waiting with hope.

The Holy Spirit helps us  in our weaknesses.

The Holy Spirit intercedes for us.

All things work together for our good.

God foreknew us.

He made us in his image.

If God is for us who can be against us?

We are justified.

Christ sits at the right hand of God interceding for us.

We are victorious.

Nothing can separate us from the love of God, nothing.

When I need a reminder of who I am, I go to Romans 8. I am reminded of how much my Abba, Father loves me. Praying for you today to know who you are in Christ and how much you are loved. In Jesus name, Amen.

I hate to admit this but I will. I never understood how the bible commands us to be joyful or rejoicing when life is hard. I can understand joy when life is good, when God feels close, when a prayer was answered, when the feeling of elation is so overwhelming the joyous smile lasts for days. BUT when our hearts are broken, when God seems so distant, when life is so hard we as Christians are called to rejoice. Seems harsh to me.

Philippians 4:4

“Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Sometimes when I read the bible anger floods me.

Rejoice!

Really?

Rejoice  means to be be joyful to and for God. Why then do I not feel God’s presence sometimes? Why if he is all powerful did all of these bad things happen to me? What about the bad parts of life happening to others that I love? Where is God in all of this? Now I am supposed to rejoice! I can think of a million other things to say rather than being joyful.

BUT, I pause and look deeper. Joy isn’t pleasure or happiness. Pleasure is about us and turning inward. Pleasure is fleeting because as we all know to well if we rely on the world for joy we will get pleasure because life can be hard. Joy is a fruit of the spirit coming from a relationship with God, knowing through faith everything will work out for our good. ( Romans 8:28)

Why is it so hard sometimes? I don’t know. I will never completely understand this side of Heaven some of the hell I have seen and felt on earth. I can’t answer that question, for my peace of mind and joy in my heart, I have had to take my hell, my disappointments, my hurt, my anger, my everything the good, horrible, messy, awful, full of doubt and questions to God, sometimes crying for answers, wanting to know the why behind the pain. Sometimes God has given me answers sometimes there has been silence. Sometimes I felt his comfort and other times I have felt nothing.  I know in the old and new testament God promises to never leave or forsake us. I know my God, my Dad, Abba Father is close even when I don’t feel it. I know he can take my anger.  I also know God doesn’t want me stuck. I think that is why we are commanded to be joyful.

Joy comes from knowing God.

We can cry for a time but Joy comes back. ( Psalm 30:5)

I may never know this side of Heaven the why’s of life. I don’t need to. God thoughts and ways are more than I will ever know. (Isaiah 55:9)

Nothing takes God by surprise. God knew me before I was born. (Jeremiah 1:5)

I am humbled by my God, My Father, my love, and I have joy in knowing that

My Dad, My God,  loves me:

even when I don’t know all the answers

even when I cry out in anger

even when I don’t like my answer to prayer

Even when I want to walk away because the pain is too much.

My God, My Father loves me.

He loves me enough  for me not to be stuck in pain.

He loves me enough to want joy to fill my heart even in sorrow.

My God, My Dad loves me, even when I don’t like the trials. He is with me.

Sometimes in life when the world gets to be too much, my go to verse is

Philippians 4:8

“Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just,  whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think  about these things.”

Sometimes I have to search and find something that is positive around me and focus on the good. I make a list of small things to praise and give thanks for. I focus my  mind off the past, off the problem, and direct my mind to something worthy of praise. A gratitude journal of five things to be grateful for helps me redirect my mind from replaying my problems. I  focus on positives even when I don’t feel God near me. I can get through. I know he is near because I can see good and be joyful.

Prayer for today:

Thank you God for filling our hearts with joy even in pain. I may not understand  the why’s this side of Heaven, but I don’t need to. I’m thankful I can come to you for comfort bringing all of my emotions and questions. Thank you for some days just getting me through and giving me  a positive outlook that I can be grateful for. In Jesus name amen.