I have read 1 Corinthians chapter 13 as an ought to passage. I should strive to love others the way this passage commands. I never connected the passage to God as the qualities that God is because, God is love. The thought that my heavenly father feels this way about me was life changing, humbling. I don’t deserve such an awesome savior and that is were grace meets my heart. Here is some of the attributes from Chapter 13:

God is patient.

God is kind.

God is not boastful or conceited, does not envy.

God does not act improperly.

God is not selfish.

God is not provoked.

God does not keep a record of wrongs.

God finds no joy in unrighteous, but rejoices in truth.

God bears, believes, hopes, and endures.

His love is everlasting.

How amazing that we have a God who is with us in all we face, who is perfect in love, and never grows weary but holds us up in his right hand.

Have you ever felt guilty?  If I am a Christian why am I not more happy? Why am I angry?

I have felt guilt: God is good why am I not happy or content.  My problems are trivial compared to others. I should be more  Grateful.

Guilt over ruining my testimony. Angry at myself.

Then I think of the psalms and  people crying out to God. Job was a righteous man and he cried to God. David who had a heart for God, cried to God.

I don’t know where I got the notion that Christians have to have happiness all of the time.  I have joy because joy is different than happiness. Joy is rooted in faith.

I know for me the guilt sets in when Satan whispers lies of doubt. Satan tells me there is something wrong with anger, confusion, cries, and not being happy.

In truth emotions sometimes anger let a person know something is wrong, not being happy forces change. Both Good.

Testimonies are not ruined. We are imperfect people trying to live out like Christ. I even find Job’s wife refreshing. She didn’t leave and stuck by Job. God can handle anger, he restored Job and his wife.

When I feel stuck in guilt and anger. I need to evaluate if I have given up on faith and hope because that produces joy. When life isn’t what I envisioned I can pray with faith for things unseen, have hope knowing it will work out for my good, and joy that it will all come together because God is good.

Satan is the ruler of the world. Father of lies and strips away faith, hope, joy, and love.  He replaces contentment with guilt and hopelessness.

I encourage you to hang on. God has you. He is holding you up. Pray with faith, hope, and joy and if you need to be sad and cry out to God that is ok too, just don’t stay in hopelessness.

I love clothes. When I was a teenager I could tell a person what another person was wearing the day before. As I had children, worked in kitchens my love for clothes declined. I wore chef clothes and sweats most days, but I still paid attention to clothes that others wore and appreciated  a well put together outfit.

I always thought the scriptures of clothes were of God not being concerned of simple matters of clothing. I felt guilty enjoying fashion.  It is true we are to be modest not flashy.  While God pays more attention to a person’s heart and not their outward appearance.  God does care about our needs and wants.

God does take care of us down to the details.  The book of Matthew talks about not worrying about what we will wear because God clothes the lilies of the field, and we are much more valuable than a flower that is here today and withered tomorrow.

In the book of Revelation it gets exciting, when we get to Heaven, we will be clothed in fine linen bright and pure. What! How exciting is that we get fine linen dressed as the bride of Christ.

God is clothed in the bible in majesty, splendor, and strength. Even Jesus earthly clothes had lots cast for them. I know balance is needed and we can become consumed by trivial things as clothes. But how  awesome that God cares for us down to trivial details. He knows our wants and desires.  I am thankful to serve such an awesome God.

“Did God make a mistake when he developed people and then regretted the flood?”

This was the question from my son this week. If God is all powerful wouldn’t he know that humans would become so corrupt? Why would he regret making people and then destroy them?

Hard questions. I am not expert but if we were created in the image of God wouldn’t our emotions be a part of our being?

I have hoped against hope believing God can, being disappointed when it didn’t go the way I anticipated. I have been angry at some of my choices with actions that I have made. I have hurt and been hurt. I am  a human created in the image of God. God is perfect, I am not.

When he created Adam, he knew Jesus would be crucified.

The questions made me pause, Did God hope against hope humans wouldn’t have been so corrupt? Did he pursue eventually giving up? There is a fine line between being pursued and being stalked.  I don’t know the answers. In honesty I’m glad I serve a God that I can’t figure out.

The next question was just as hard, “So a rainbow represents God’s promise never to destroy humans off the face of the earth?”

My answer created more questions. The rainbow is a covenant not to destroy the world through flooding again. I explained that one day Jesus comes back and the judgement isn’t pretty.

I enjoyed the conversation even if the answers were not readily available. We talked about how human Noah was. We speculated how he might have  had post traumatic stress disorder maybe seeing the people drown around him, or if the animals didn’t hibernate the poop and the noise, and having family confined in a small area. We talked about Noah’s vineyard and wine.

We talked about heaven and how amazing to not have the pain and suffering on earth.  We came to the conclusion that sometimes God’s assignments are tough. Sometimes the answers are not easy or conclusive, but God is. We have a perfect savior. We also have a God that knows our heart even in our imperfections he knows our love for him.

I’m a strong independent bossy type of person.  I have never been in a Christ centered marriage. Now that I am single, I want a marriage with God at the head, then the man, then me. I cringe typing  having a man over me, even if he is to love me as Christ loved the church. I know me, if he agrees with me and my ideas it will be easy to submit but if not ouch. Lots of prayer is in my future, plus I need a change of heart.

I came across the fall this week in my study. Genesis 3:16 God tells Eve she will desire her husband yet he will rule over her. If or when I am married I will desire to rule over my husband. I will have to lay  down my way at the cross and submit daily.

I also found it interesting, Adam was given the task of working and guarding the garden. The snake should have never been permitted in the garden. Adam should have protected Eve. He let the snake in and he was silent.

No one is perfect, but if we stay in prayer, communion with God, and follow his lead, life is easier.  If a husband is in love with Christ, God will know his heart. Mistakes happen but they all work out for the good for those that love the Lord. I can submit to that logic. I can pray for my family. I can support and respect. I now understand more of a man’s role and a women’s role.

My prayer today please be with wives as they support, pray, respect, and submit today. If a husband isn’t leading please give conviction and healing to the family for the man to lead following Christ. Let my heart be change by this truth. In Jesus name, Amen.

I love the story of Daniel. He trusted God when it would have been easier to go with the world.  I’m holding onto his example of trust with peace today. Honestly I am struggling this week. I could use prayer if you have a moment. I am faced with do I go with the world or do I wait on God. I think at some point all of us struggle with the worldly issues.

Do I work more and acquire more stuff or Do I raise my kids in a balanced home trusting in God ?

Do I date this person or marry this person knowing it isn’t the match God intended?

Do I curse God for my illness or walk with a testimony?

Do I judge others knowing I have the same problem or am I transparent and walk with someone through it?

Do I stay in a marriage and complain of the difficulty or do I live out Christ’s example?

Do I talk about my faith?

Life is hard. Daniel made hard choices to the point of being sentenced to death.

God protected  Daniel. When he was thrown into the lions den he wasn’t harmed.  The men that had accused Daniel, their wives, and children were thrown into the lions den and before they reached the bottom of the den they were overpowered and eventually  killed. The accusers family suffered consequences of their actions to death.

We influence others and sometimes people suffer the consequences of our actions.

How many times have I gone with the world and not trusted in God.

Each time there is a consequence for my action. It may not be death, but a testimony is lost, someone doesn’t know God through my actions, a hurtful word is spoken, my soul is hurt…

In hindsight I always learn a valuable lesson, but if:

I just trusted God to begin with, how many soul bruises could  have  been prevented?

I could have protected my loved ones from suffering from my actions.

Please Lord let me rest in you, trusting your will and not my own.

Daniel and the  lions’ den can be found in Daniel chapter 6.

I’m impatient. God’s timing sometimes frustrates me, which is prideful. Like I know better than God on his timing.

I have so many memories in the house I am in. I packed everything hoping to move by February 2016 . I  am now here until maybe January of next year. So I unpacked my house, nested made it my own. I also decided to enjoy my stay and not concentrate so much on a move in the future. I have started living.

I have been dating. Dating as a woman in her forties who really has never dated before is challenging. I hate it. I just want a list of the baggage and a list of the strengths. A simple checklist would be wonderful and time saving. The hurt, expectations, the excitement, and nerves are sometimes too much. What if I give this over to God as well? Instead of hating the process.  I know when I do marry again. I will appreciate my gift of a husband so much more after this season in my life. But for now I don’t have to answer to anyone. I can eat scrambled eggs for dinner. I can help others without the guilt of taking time away from a spouse. I can live now and not focus on the future.

I wonder how many times I have robbed my joy from concentrating on the future. I know when I lived in an apartment I wanted my own home. Now I reminisce on how easy it was to call a landlord. How many times I worried over money and bills, but each time money was tight worry didn’t help and the bills eventually  got paid.

I think when Paul said he could be content in all things, he lived in the moment concentrating not on the future but leaning into God for comfort, joy, direction….

God was Paul’s everything. I need to emulate that. I need to run to God for comfort not searching for the next best thing on earth. I need to know my heavenly Father knows my needs and wants, he knows me. I can have joy knowing that his will not my own is the best for me.

Philippians 4:11-13

^“11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

I came across Genesis 3:1 this week and it made me pause.

Satan asked Eve did God really say? Satan attacked God’s word and cast doubt.

Isn’t doubt the opposite of faith?  I know when I can’t see the whole picture and my faith wavers, doubt sets in.

The  first strike was even more harmful Satan attacked God’s word.

How many times have I heard people talk about the inconsistencies of the bible? The history, the context, or the translation not being taken into account.

Or what about picking and choosing scriptures to fit our needs or wants.

I never acquainted this with Satan’s work. He is the father of lies.

If he can get us to argue over points in the bible and divide. He wins.

If he can get us to doubt. He wins.

If he can get us to pick and choose what scriptures to follow. He wins.

We will never be full of faith living in his lies.

Today I choose to denounce the father of lies, being aware of one of many of his schemes.

Have you  tried to help someone, but felt you were the one doing the work?

I’ve been there. I am capable of trying to cure someone of anything that I  think I can help with.

Often I need to step back and examine my motives. Am I helping or wanting to heal something within myself?

I need to pray.

I need to know if the person even wants my help.

If those questions are answered , the person being helped must put in the work.

Jesus required faith. Jesus asks questions. Jesus had pure motives. Jesus didn’t enable.

Jesus  healed a man who had been sick for 38 years. Jesus asked the man if he wanted to be well. He asked and didn’t rush in to save. The man would no longer be a beggar and would be able to work. His life would change, Jesus asked, if he even wanted to be well.  Jesus then commanded the man to pick up his mat and walk.  (John 5:1-8)

The sense of entitlement  is prevalent . Entitlement hurts people, it enables someone to stay stuck.

Jesus never gave someone the sense of entitlement. He required faith. He sometimes required faith with action.

Living as a Christian is a balancing act between loving someone and helping or enabling someone and hurting.

Prayer for today:

Please Lord let me help those that want the help. Let me get out of your way, guide me in the ways you want me to help others. Please give me the patience to allow others to do the work. I don’t want to enable. I want to love. In Jesus name, Amen.