I hate to admit this but I will. I never understood how the bible commands us to be joyful or rejoicing when life is hard. I can understand joy when life is good, when God feels close, when a prayer was answered, when the feeling of elation is so overwhelming the joyous smile lasts for days. BUT when our hearts are broken, when God seems so distant, when life is so hard we as Christians are called to rejoice. Seems harsh to me.

Philippians 4:4

“Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Sometimes when I read the bible anger floods me.

Rejoice!

Really?

Rejoice  means to be be joyful to and for God. Why then do I not feel God’s presence sometimes? Why if he is all powerful did all of these bad things happen to me? What about the bad parts of life happening to others that I love? Where is God in all of this? Now I am supposed to rejoice! I can think of a million other things to say rather than being joyful.

BUT, I pause and look deeper. Joy isn’t pleasure or happiness. Pleasure is about us and turning inward. Pleasure is fleeting because as we all know to well if we rely on the world for joy we will get pleasure because life can be hard. Joy is a fruit of the spirit coming from a relationship with God, knowing through faith everything will work out for our good. ( Romans 8:28)

Why is it so hard sometimes? I don’t know. I will never completely understand this side of Heaven some of the hell I have seen and felt on earth. I can’t answer that question, for my peace of mind and joy in my heart, I have had to take my hell, my disappointments, my hurt, my anger, my everything the good, horrible, messy, awful, full of doubt and questions to God, sometimes crying for answers, wanting to know the why behind the pain. Sometimes God has given me answers sometimes there has been silence. Sometimes I felt his comfort and other times I have felt nothing.  I know in the old and new testament God promises to never leave or forsake us. I know my God, my Dad, Abba Father is close even when I don’t feel it. I know he can take my anger.  I also know God doesn’t want me stuck. I think that is why we are commanded to be joyful.

Joy comes from knowing God.

We can cry for a time but Joy comes back. ( Psalm 30:5)

I may never know this side of Heaven the why’s of life. I don’t need to. God thoughts and ways are more than I will ever know. (Isaiah 55:9)

Nothing takes God by surprise. God knew me before I was born. (Jeremiah 1:5)

I am humbled by my God, My Father, my love, and I have joy in knowing that

My Dad, My God,  loves me:

even when I don’t know all the answers

even when I cry out in anger

even when I don’t like my answer to prayer

Even when I want to walk away because the pain is too much.

My God, My Father loves me.

He loves me enough  for me not to be stuck in pain.

He loves me enough to want joy to fill my heart even in sorrow.

My God, My Dad loves me, even when I don’t like the trials. He is with me.

Sometimes in life when the world gets to be too much, my go to verse is

Philippians 4:8

“Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just,  whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think  about these things.”

Sometimes I have to search and find something that is positive around me and focus on the good. I make a list of small things to praise and give thanks for. I focus my  mind off the past, off the problem, and direct my mind to something worthy of praise. A gratitude journal of five things to be grateful for helps me redirect my mind from replaying my problems. I  focus on positives even when I don’t feel God near me. I can get through. I know he is near because I can see good and be joyful.

Prayer for today:

Thank you God for filling our hearts with joy even in pain. I may not understand  the why’s this side of Heaven, but I don’t need to. I’m thankful I can come to you for comfort bringing all of my emotions and questions. Thank you for some days just getting me through and giving me  a positive outlook that I can be grateful for. In Jesus name amen.