Which son am I?

The story of the prodigal son found in Luke chapter 15, is a story of redemption. As a child I related to the bad one, the demanding, spoiled, self-centered, narcissistic, bad one.  He demanded his share of his Father’s inheritance before the man had even died. He then went and partied in a far off land. He blew through his money. He finally was reduced to take a job feeding pigs ( by the way he was Jewish). He was literally starving himself to death. I find it interesting that none of his party friends were there to help. He decided to go back to his Father and ask to be a servant. The Father saw him way off in the distance and ran to meet him. I can relate to the times that I took stock in the world, earthly relationships, jobs, titles, and not realized that every true gift is from God. The son had a speech prepared and apologized for his behavior.  How many times have I gone to God on my knees not worthy? How many times has God embraced me extending grace and mercy? The Father took his son back and not as a servant back  into the family and to top it off threw a party. I loved this story because :

I have pride.

I have selfishness.

I have the attitude of I can do this myself, I don’t need God or anyone.

I am a mess.

The Father is supposed to represent our Father in heaven with compassion on us. As a kid I thought how sweet to be able to screw up that much and still be welcomed back. I felt like I had a free ride to do what I wanted to do. I never gave much thought about hitting rock bottom or the repentance part, or the fact that the “rules” in the bible are their for our protection those ideas never crossed my mind. What a merciful God to give us Grace.

Now comes the second son the good one. The boring one, he stayed and worked. He was obedient, never once did he ask for his inheritance early, saying peace out I ‘m gone to squander the family  fortune away. He stayed and worked hard. He was angry when his brother returned and had a party thrown in his honor. He confronted his Father with the facts he had worked, was respectful, and didn’t do the things his brother did. Where was his party? The Father comforted his son explaining that the son had everything the Father had and the son was always with him, he went on to say  that his brother was lost but is found, was dead but is alive again. The father pleaded with his son to come to the party and celebrate. How many times have I been like this brother trying to earn God’s love?  Angry when I didn’t get what I think God owed me? Too many to count. I compare myself to others thinking I am not as bad as that, but truth be told we are all like the two brothers.

Do I think my way is better than God’s?

Do I work trying to earn God’s love?

Do I compare myself to others?

Am I angry when I don’t get what I think God owes me?

Do I refuse to go into the party because of shame or pride?

All of these are checked for me.

Prayer for today:

Please Lord give me balance let me repent of my sins not living in shame, let my actions and thoughts not become prideful. Please oh please give me a heart of trust, trying not to earn my place in Heaven through my works. Please let me be grateful for the gift of grace  and salvation because we all should be at the party.